Sunday, June 14, 2009

Trip to the drug store

To the lady sitting in her blue Mercedes in the middle of the parking lot where the flow-through traffic is in front of Kroger, sorry for laying on my horn until you moved. I realize I could have driven around you into the "oncoming parking lot traffic", but you see....I am unemployed and I have time to be obnoxious. And I was rather annoyed that you were sitting in the middle of the inbound lane of the parking lot traffic. What with your blue Mercedes and all....

Next time I will just ram my gray Camry into your blue Mercedes. I bet you won't be parked in the middle of the parking lot again, will you Ms. I have a Blue Mercedes, go around me? I bet she has a job..a posh job.

To the lady in CVS looking for the LifeBrand nose plugs, I am sorry CVS didn't have your brand of nose plugs. But I do think Phil, the Shift Supervisor, did try his best to act like he cared about your dilemma. But you have to understand...Phil is of a different generation than yours. Phil believes that work should be fun and caring about your customer needs is not fun.

No doubt Phil has taken Supervisory training and has learned that he should take care of his customers needs and that customers like you pay his salary. But you see, Phil doesn't care if you drive 2.6 miles to Walgreens to get your LifeBrand nose plugs. You know why? Because Phil's friend Stevie works at Walgreens and Stevie is also 23 and doesn't care about your needs either. Phil and Stevie can't be bothered because dealing with you is not fun and work should be FUN. Besides, the last time he helped a customer out, his boss didn't even recognize his efforts (what??? YES! Noooo, can you believe?)...or write a note to his mother about what a wonderful son she raised and what a great employee Phil is.

Therefore, Ms. Lady in the Yellow Shirt, you are out of luck with the nose plugs. Hope you don't have a heart attack since you can't do your water aerobics without your nose plugs. If you do, we will blame Phil.

ps - Phil obviously hasn't read Kimiposh's article on how fun unemployment is...